A lot has happened in the past few months:
I am almost finished with MD 2 ( the hardest semester of my career) with one week left for Exams. I cant believe I’m almost done with only half a year left to go. I can’t even begin to express how much these past few months have been a roller coaster for me. I got in trouble with my Medical School to the points of almost getting expelled - for shit that I did in my past to say the least. One of my good friends got suspended and is required to retake the semester due to some stupid bullshit. Regardless, I have learnt a lot from these past few months as well. I have learnt how to fix my behaviour in the manners of being in a professional setting. I have learnt how to be okay when things really aren’t and to set them back into my mind for another time.
My parents and I have gotten really close this semester more than anything. Being almost expelled realized my parents have my back and trust me fully which is all I can really ask for. I have recently been talking to them about getting breast reduction - due to the fact that I honestly hate them haha… and they are on board with it. My future plans are to help them realize not only do i want a reduction but a complete removal. I have taken so much time through the course of my life ( especially in my teens ) to know that I really want to be a male. Not because I think its wrong to like girls, but more so because I’ve always wanted this, even when I was five years old. I can remember with full clarity the passion and desire I had to become a guy, because I knew deep down, there had to be a mistake done. I love my parents and I’d do anything for them, but I hope when it all comes down to it, they’ll see my happiness lays within this. I understand the risks, and the pain and trials i will have to endure. Being in a medical profession doesnt make it any better. Coworkers and friends and family will continually judge, and I completely understand that, but If im not happy in my own body… what’s the point of continuing anything.
I do have to say I’m doing amazing in school with A to B grades. I know I’m making my parents proud and equally important- Beth as well. Not one day goes by without her voice ringing in my mind with her guidance. I have to say, when I’m at my lowest, i do try to talk to her..and ask guidance from the BIG MAN himself. God has brought me through trials and for this I’m truly grateful.